A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a big week for homosexual-related basic person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our basic piece concerns you via xojane, the women’s site oriented right up by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(I’m major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece belongs to the “it simply happened if you ask me” feature which existed at JANE magazine and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating private encounters.

The anonymous author of this portion, exactly who we’ll phone “Ariel,” is bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies hit jobs to the woman male lovers but doesn’t go out or frequently go-down on females, this woman is, she clarifies, theoretically, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also describes by herself as “mostly directly” and “direct” at other factors inside story.) The woman reputation started, she explains, when her first lesbian hookups — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman college — transpired on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it and then right away fled the world fearing her own inability to do this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long time frame.

She produces:

“of course, phrase had gotten around that she and I had hooked up hence I’d kept their holding, which in fact had the unusual effect of providing me personally folk-heroine status. Kelly labeled as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I happened to be one. It was like some kind of film conceit where in actuality the hero is recognised incorrectly as a high profile and reaches drive in a limo and stay in an elegant lodge as a result of it.”

This apparently completely resolved in her benefit, as she romped about in college connecting with lots of “aggressive types exactly who had gotten down regarding the idea that I was unwilling to leave a lady touch me.” Post-college, she shifted to your net, where she advertised her comfortable condition and sometimes came across with women for NSA gender.

Around the conclusion she problematically explains that whenever connecting with a female she is perhaps not attracted to, she merely closes the woman vision and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.” Often it appears like she desires ladies for eating the woman away simply because they’re presumably much better at it than the male is. She

could

go lower in it but “I am not dating all of them, and I do not think i’d wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to give back.”

I would personallynot want to sit next to Ariel on an aircraft, but the woman one-sided sexual experiences are consensual and she is only telling a true tale of her existence, therefore I’m not really certain what you should label of this (and I’m curious to understand what you will be making from it, if any such thing).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Project
) we’ve
I hitched a Lesbian (and that I’m men)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to obtain crushes for a passing fancy kind of woman: the celebrity baseball member, the soccer onward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some just weren’t.” He questioned:

What-is-it that drew me oftentimes to ladies who had been same-sex drawn? It surely was not the stereotypical male dream about what they certainly were doing during intercourse, also it definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho opinion that I could change a gay girl straight.

In parts, the piece (which does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me of your estimate from

The Girls Nearby

,
that I cited in a write-up about feminine manliness
:

“…if we had to create another generalization about lesbian style, it would be that a lot of you are powerfully drawn to ladies, gay or straight, stunning or otherwise not, whom seem just as if they can look after on their own.”

The author ultimately marries a lesbian which displayed as straight, and he discovered their own causing sex life to-be unsatisfactory. She refused to provide him blow jobs and did not really like penetration but joyfully approved his choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their own sexless matrimony finished in separation and divorce and a drug relapse (for him), they are apparently caring to his ex-wife’s struggle rather than labeling the woman as deceitful (as many from the commenters perform):

She had come from a traditional family that would have been profoundly embarrassed to have a homosexual youngster. She may usually have identified, but performed their best to conceal it, probably wishing that her thoughts might transform. Or she may have been like many ladies I known, and only found her real sexual identification after already being married to one.

What exactly is redeeming about any of it article in my experience that the author’s conception of his very own gender is generally free of the standard male posturing one might anticipate in a bit such as this (he actually describes himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it really seems that means because guys so seldom come up with wanting strong, sports, powerful women with short-hair; but it is energizing nonetheless.

I don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique stories, but it is really worth discussing that both narratives appear to ride regarding the idea that room behavior is the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning signal” he missed, whenever penetration is hardly a specifically heterosexual work (this indicates more likely Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a guy she don’t wish is with, but really that knows) and dropping crazy, in the end, means the pussy but it’s in addition about your heart and it’s mainly about having intimate feelings. Those romantic feelings are the thing that turns a hook-up commitment into a relationship, after all.

Finally at

neurological.com

we now have a sweet tale right from pony’s lips —
My First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I do believe this is actually the first time the “First Time” series features featured a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth level, the writer confessed to the woman best friend that she had lesbian feelings for her, and her closest friend reciprocated, and they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian relationship plus they are nonetheless together today and the woman is a grown-up into the army!

It appears they’ve however to take their relationship outside of the wardrobe, basically somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: ends up this tale ended up being written before DADT was actually repealed, though it just got released, thus nothing is puzzling taking place right here. This is simply straight-up sweet in every single means, unequivocally.]

The main focus for the part (that is extremely lovely and nice) is found on the author’s advancement of
what lesbian intercourse is quite
:

We had never ever been down on every additional, and I was confident that is what we might meant as soon as we said we desired to have intercourse. (today I understand that there’s even more to fucking than licking a girl’s vagina and contacting it everyday.)

She concludes:

I understand that the majority of people differ by what virginity method for a homosexual woman, but virginity is wholly subjective, and it really relies upon the person you’re asking. People might say entrance has to be involved, but I think it’s to the person dropping their virginity. Basically feel I missing my virginity, next goddammit, i’ve!

I have spent the majority of the day and mid-day looking at word press, trying to puzzle out just what point I could make about some of these pieces. I thought lots about the reason we’d never ever submit “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this internet site but can not get past the explanation that I would worry 50 people would vow to prevent return right here and the remaning many-thousands of you would combat with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before heating loss of the universe. We envisioned some body distributing “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail immediately after which We envisioned the editorial conference in which we’d can that tale and all state “NO” on the other hand.

In seeking a spot to gleam because of these stories, i have attempted to determine what you’ll imagine or state, and that I can not, and that I desire to complete this article quickly to speed-up the process of me finding-out what you think about these stories. Yup, for the first time since that time starting Autostraddle, i have got little idea what things to state about something. So maybe i will merely want to know — what is actually your reaction to these pieces?